'68 Winners Announced!!!

It's all done and dusted. The Zombies have been slayed. The pork product has been roasted. And rum was had by all!!!!! I've got the winners for the 10 REASONS WHY YOU ARE BETTER THAN A ZOMBIE contest. Just to recap. '68 is an awesomely groovy zombie comic by Mark Kidwell, Nat Jones, and Jay Fotos. They take your usual zombie fare and turns it on it's arse. Set during the Vietnam War, '68 freezes time in a sense. None of the cultural references go beyond February 13, 1968. The world stops. The zombies take over. It's one thing fighting a war. Another thing fighting zombies. But what if you have to fight BOTH AT THE SAME TIME???!!!!

Bob O. and Stephani N. won an autographed copy of Issue #1 of '68

The following are the best TEN REASONS WHY I AM BETTER THAN A ZOMBIE!

From Tanya P.

1. My brains aren't currently being attacked by microorganisms that will quickly degrade my thinking process and turn my brains into so much mush within hours.

2. My body also isn't disintegrating, which means that my leg won't fall off when I run, AND I'll be able to see what's coming. A zombie couldn't, the eyes go away pretty fast... SQUISH!!

3. Better complexion, even without Cover Girl ;)

4. I'm really REALLY good at shooting - a headshot wouldn't be a problem even at range. Zombies, what with the eyeballs dissolving, would have more problems handling firearms (let alone the whole hand falling off thing).

5. There is probably someone somewhere who wouldn't mind having sex with me - and a bonus - not vomiting afterwards. Whew!

6. If I eat, maggots aren't going to drop off me and into my food, which will allow the full flavor of the food to come out instead of being masked by the aroma of death and decay. The food isn't moving either, which could be good or bad, depending on your palate.

7. Speaking of stench, err, aroma, I don't smell like something dead. I smell pretty, thanks to soaps and so forth, plus I'm not a corpse. In fact I'm just going to place "personal hygiene" down here as whole.

8. I don't attract every raven, dog, insect, and other carrion eater within miles to my position every time I sit still. So animals aren't attempting to devour me pretty much constantly, AND I can hide! Yay for both!

9. I make one hell of a cup of coffee, my daughter can also, AND we can cook bacon to your specification! (obvious bribery to the judge happening here, please don't notice this...)

10. I'm working on a lightsaber. Really. Zombie attack? Lightsaber.

Matt B. winning entry:

1. I am vegetarian -(this makes me better than most people not just zombies ;)

2. If I bit you, you wouldn't turn into a zombie or catch anything as I'm quite healthy therefore not much of a risk in the bodily fluid department!

3. I don't smell all that bad (I do eat a lot of spicy food, so opinions do vary on this point)

4. I could be brought down quite successfully with a lot less than a head shot, so in the event that I do attack anyone (unlikely) i shouldn't be too hard to 'deal with'

5. I have asked people - 'would you rather have sex with me or a zombie?' all have said that in that situation (and only that situation) they would pick me!

6. I have a much more extended vocabulary than - 'uuurrrgg' or 'braaaaaaaains'

7. I generally retreat from the sound of gunfire.

8. I can open doors easily.

9. I change my clothes more often than zombies. Which means that I will be more up to date with current fashion trends.

10. Finally I recycle, I have never seen a zombie recycle. I think that's pretty shitty really. It doesn't take much and we should all do our bit!

Gabriel C says:

1: My breath smells great! No human remains between my teeth.

2: I always have money and mints to borrow. Zombs are notoriously known to be broke. And have nasty breath(see above)...

3: I am stocked: I have sugar AND kool-aid, peanut butter AND jelly, lighters AND gasoline... etc...

4: I am quick-witted. Duh. Continue reading...

5: My frozen dairy goodness attracts all the living impaired to the final solution of ridiculously awesome shredding of delicious flesh. This is a trick.

6: I have a job. Zombies don't really know how to represent, like I do. I smack down whack-ass perpetrators and shit, hold the set down fo' ma' peeps, I keep it real and represent like a boss, son. Zombies sit there like little retarded blind armless babies and moan & drool. They also bleed on everything, which I have failed to do in my entire life. Suck it, Zombies.

7: My comics are all in a neat and orderly fashion. These are my life, so must be treated as if they were a loving, little nerdy pet of mine. Only I get to take care of them. I trust no-one. Zombs care about one thing: my delicious brain. And they still would treat it like shit if they ever got their disgusting paws on it...

8: I am a chef, so I could be the one to create and bring all the new/recycled ideas of yummy goodness into the world once we are all devoured/and/or forced to sup upon the sweet, sweet nectar of goodness that which is HUMAN FLESH...

9: I shoot a mean game of pool. This said, my knowledge of basic geometry and angles far surpasses that of any dimwitted slow-walking brain-eater. Win.

10: I have watched nearly every episode of Night Court and Roseanne. Zombs don't even remember that shit, let alone half of America. My clever attempts to fool you all have succeeded. Suckers.

Mondo congrats to all the winners!!! Remember - you don't have to run fast, just faster than the next guy! LOL


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