Fly Me to the Moon

July 18th, 2009 1740 hours London time

Talk about long trips. It's my personal Amazing Race. There is no million dollar prize at the end, just the priceless memories of mates and good times and laughter. This is something no one can put a price tag on. I woke up with time to spare. Not heading to Hamilton Train Station in New Jersey until about 9am. Very uneventful. Catch train. Walk from Penn Station to Port Authority. Catch shuttle bus to JFK. Why go all the way to Queens to catch a plane? Money! LOL Or the amount of money I saved booking passage on Aer Lingus from New York City to Dublin instead of from Philadelphia to Copenhagen! A few extra stops along the way, but a savings of a couple hundred dollars. Arrived at JFK with no problems. Worth the $15 to go this route. Comfy seats with the luggage under the coach and not jammed between my legs as I sway and bounce to the beat of the A train. Check in = no problems. Security = no problems. Flight = no problems.

Arrive in Dublin at stupid o'clock. It's about 0530 in the a.m. The announcements directed passengers to pick up our baggage at carousel four then proceed to carousel one and go up the stairs for Ryan Air flights and connecting flights. Sounds like a plan. We trudged up stairs and through a corridor. It lead to security. HHHMMMMMMMM it didn't seem quite right as we still had our baggage with us. Checked baggage no less. We inquired at security. They said just go to gate D62 it'll get taken care of. We figured that Ryan Air would check the baggage at the gate. Wot - ever. The only issue in security was that we had way more than the 100ml of liquids. Well, yes - the baggage is to be checked. OK, they had no problems with that and sent us on our way. By 0630 we were at the gate looking for Ryan Air employees to sort out the check in.

nothing.

nada.

zip.

Didn't see hide nor hair of one until our flight at 0805, five minutes prior to boarding, and then it was the baggage handlers. Wow - the baggage handlers and ground crew are checking in flights. With limited english proficiency I might add. OK. So we pull one over, show him our check in paper... and before we could even FORM a question he says in good broken english - "You can't fly on this plane. We won't check you in. You have no stamp." Well DUH!!!! How about listening to the question first? It goes swiftly downhill from here.

He tells us to go to zone 7, desk 701. Look for a yellow sign. We trowl back thru departures looking for said sign (along with another passenger who was in the same boat). Even with my glasses on I couldn't find it! So I asked one of the security guys. Lovely blokes they were. He told us we had to go out into the hall -flight check in. (Oh if only HE were on duty two hours before! ) He said to inquire about it there and then come back. He stamped our papers so we didn't have to go thru security again. We found the area and spoke to a rather brusk, harried, severe blonde woman. She was NOT helpful. She was quite rude. She had no interest in listening to our problem. She continually blamed the Aer Lingus staff and the security for the mistake. Every thing coming spitfire out of her mouth was a slag to Aer Lingus and Security at Dublin airport (even tho they had been the most pleasant and helpful during the morning). She told us to go to ticketing as we had missed our flight and should have been here on time.

ERM EXCUSE ME!!!! We were here by 0600 - more than TWO HOURS before the flight! She couldn't have cared less. So at about 0820/0830 we went to the ticketing desk that was manned by a very large woman who was equally rude. I'm beginning to think that it's in the Ryan Air handbook to be rude and nasty. If you can't master these two things, you don't get the job. She said we had to give them and additional 100euros for them to put us on the next flight. Extortion. Basically. She could refund us for the taxes and taxes only if we decided not to pay the blood price. Now let's recap: My ticket was 40eur. Baggage was 20 euro. There was a "handling" fee of 10 euro. Taxes..... hmmmm...... NO BLOODY TAXES WERE CHARGED ON THE FLIGHT!!!!!!!

breathing................

Again - a total fuck you attitude. We've got your money and will take more and if you don't like it - stuff it! So we asked to speak to the supervisor Very snootily she replied the supervisor would tell us the same thing. I asked her again, point us in the direction of the supervisor. We left the troll to eat the next customer who was having the same issue with them as we were. UGH! You'd never guess who the supervisor was.... Yep - the same blonde cunt we spoke to first. Still as bitchy and uncaring as before. She now took up the mantle of shouting at us, then just flat out ignored us.

FOR ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY IN YOU - DO NOT - I REPEAT - DO NOT FLY ON RYAN AIR. THEY ARE HORRID CREATURES PURGED FROM THE BOWELS OF HELL ITSELF. IT MAY BE CHEAP - BUT YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR! - THERE IS NO CUSTOMER SERVICE. THEY ARE NOT FRIENDLY. THEY ARE NOT HELPFUL.. Pay the extra money for Easy Jet or Aer Lingus or BMI anything... hell, take National Express! LOL BUT STAY AWAY FROM THE NIGHTMARE THAT IS RYAN AIR.

I called my cousin and he tried to find us alternate flights. Unfortunately, you can not book online the day of departure. We personally hit every airline in the hall that flew to London. They were sympathetic. I'm sure this scene had been repeated for them a hundred times a week. They did not seem surprised we were Ryan Air refugees. In the end, all the flights were near 300 euros. We had no choice but to acquiesce to their demand. 100 euro on top of the 70 already paid for the flight. Over $300 / £150 for a frakking Ryan Air flight.

DO NOT FLY ON RYAN AIR. THEY ARE HORRID. NO CUSTOMER SERVICE. THEY ARE RUDE AND NOT IN THE LEAST BIT HELPFUL. STAY AWAY FROM RYAN AIR!